Bad sound can be found everywhere—from the background music in your favorite café, to the PA system at your local music venue, or even in your house of worship. If this frightens you, it should. But once we recognize the problem of bad sound, we can work together to eradicate it. It is for this reason that concerned audio professionals have formed The Coalition to End Bad Sound (CEBS).
Most music begins as inspirational and intelligible, but then can rapidly deteriorate into a harsh, punishing cacophony due to the use of inferior PA systems. Specifically, CEBS defines bad sound as “any audio that is negatively mutated by inferior sound systems, causing harm to its intended audience.”
Professional audio veterans have become attuned to the visual characteristics and brand logos associated with poor sound systems. These brand marks are really the proclamations of evildoers with a nefarious purpose—to make a quick buck while stamping the world with their putrid acoustic signatures. Specifically, bad sound can be evidenced in the form of completely incomprehensible vocals, distorted drums, and harsh-sounding instruments. But with diligent practice, you can learn to identify bad sound systems before they are even powered up. In this way, you can stop bad sound before it starts.
Inner cranial sensations such as a pillow-like muffling or sharp pains are the hallmark of brief exposures to bad sound (see Fig A.). Look for verbal clues from others, such as confused interjections of “Huh?” and “this sucks.” Body language cues include persons orienting themselves away from the offending sound, both hands clenched in the “thumbs down” position, and even flight from the premises (see Fig B.) Bad sound can lead to extreme displays of negativity, over-consumption of potent potables, poorly chosen pickup lines, and even hygienic failure.
Insert forefingers into ears. Back away from the stage, praying quiety to self. During downtime between songs loudly complain “the PA system is [unacceptable]!” BUT DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES APPROACH THE SOUND SYSTEM OPERATOR! (see below). If the severity of the bad sound is too great, leave the premises. It’s the only way to avoid long-lasting physical and emotional damage.
Under certain bad sound conditions, you may be inclined to blame the operator of the system. Tread cautiously. Soundmen are generally a good lot. Chances are, they already know the sound system they are operating is woefully under par, and are attempting to “polish a turd” to the best of their abilities. Occasionally, a bad sound system combined with an untrained and churlish operator can combine to produce what is known as “really bad sound”. At this point it is strongly recommended that you gather everyone you can and vacate the premises immediately.
Long-term exposure to bad sound can cause excessive ear damage and even mutation (see Fig C.), as well as the necessity to learn lip reading in casual conversation. Like those in long-term hostage situations, victims often bond with their tormentors, and actually move closer to the source of their misery.
Get Active and Join The Coalition to End Bad Sound.
